When my T and I did a lot of IFS work (Internal Family Systems) and talked about my child parts and what they needed, it came up that I wanted her to hold me. She wouldn't do that but said she would hold my hand. So she did. She told me, at the time, "if that's what that part needs to do in order to heal, that's what we'll do." At the same time, she has always moved me toward meeting my own needs for comfort and not relying on her. Nevertheless, she doesn't believe in "just talk".

We also do visualizations with her, my adult Self, and another nurturing person in my life, holding the child together.

Another way we do something other than straight talking is through EMDR. That actually makes, at least according to those who believe in it, new neural pathways in your brain. So, when we talk about past hurts and do the EMDR, it lessens the pain from the past. It really does, and I'm the most skeptical person around!

I agree with your T not wanting to "be your Mom and act in a maternal way". It's a fine line between what helps and what doesn't. I wanted her to talk to me about growing up because my Mom didn't, but she wouldn't do it. She wanted ME to talk to myself the way I would have wanted my Mom to talk to me. I have to admit that was satisfying and not triggering to me. While I wish my T would have talked to me, I think it would have caused me to obsess about her and wouldn't have been healthy for me.

Some Ts do act more maternally towards their clients and it works. People post about that all the time on the forum. What Improving's T did is in a class by itself!! Great Ts know when to step in and when not to.