MG,

Perna's right then. If you're doing everything you can then you have to see a lawyer. I know the helpless feeling - it's not a good way to live.

Talk to a lawyer. I filed for divorce but called the whole thing off before we went to court. The stress ratcheted way up for me - a lawyer for the divorce, another lawyer and an accountant to figure out the taxes. I'm not rich, I live paycheck to paycheck I thought the whole thing was crazy so I stopped it.

You need some real advice though so you should at least talk to a lawyer and then decide what the best course is for you. I think a lawyer would tell you that if she's capable of it she needs to get a job.

Even though you're cursed to be on the male side of things I think you'll find that the law might benefit you.