There are plenty pairs of jeans in my closet, but not one pair fit me. So I decided to buy a pair that fits. I am down to one very threadbare pair of track type pants which arn't even full length. That is all that is left that fits me.

I took a great big gulp and took 3 different styles of the same size to the changing room.

I tried on all three. They didn't fit. Not even close. I looked at myself in that mirror and just burst into hysterical laughter. And I couldn't stop laughing at how hideous I look. Even the changing room attendant asked if I was ok!

I abandoned the jeans. Trusty old threadbare will have to do!