Quote:
Originally Posted by 2or3things
And while I love her and am totally devoted to her, I know that if it was something I really felt I had to do, she'd give her blessing for me to fill that particular need elsewhere if she couldn't do it herself. So that's nice, at least.
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FANTASY:
2or3: I'm off to my ageplay group.
Partner: Have fun, dear!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2or3things
But what's not going to happen on her watch is me doing things to try to force her into some maternal stance toward me and her responding in said maternal way. I absolutely hate that, because of course it's all I really want. Because I'm still convinced (on an emotional level, at least) that that would fix everything.
Is she right? Should it be all talk, no action on her part?
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Deep waters.
Even a T's boundaries are not always as rigid as they look. In every wall there is a gate!
If you look carefully, you may find that in a thousand little ways, your T
is mothering you. (My T was always opening windows, pulling blinds, offering me a blanket.)
Of course that's not enough, but there is no way your T could
ever be enough. So the disappointment is built into the relationship.
The point is, you have an opportunity to
process that disappointment. Yes, it is largely a grieving process. But first you have to recognise that you'll never get what you want.