Thankyou to each of you for replying. I am in the process of digging up every plant I worked hard on the past 5 yrs. This was something I enjoyed was flower gardening and landscaping. I have moved all of it to another location I will be living at. He complained I was taking up the yard space, versus a yard that was un pleasing prior. I said when I started removing what I planted he would have his yard back. Just another step in the process. After I found out about "the friend" he gave 2 gifts despite my firmly saying I wanted nothing from him,no cards, nothing. Doing the basic household stuff to a minimum completely quitting the things I did for him,like the 180 tactic suggests doing,instead of doing,quit doing, that didn't seem to phase him. He remains firm with "I did little wrong",helped somebody tho lying for months,doesnt justify he thinks the way the marriage is now. The thorn that really got me was after I found out this stuff he has some things of the friend's still in the house that were given to him. This is another part he seems fine with going along with the I did nothing wrong but help her. So I got caught lying but nothing happened!!!