I went to the dry cleaner's today and I saw these two very hot Asian girls. One of them in particular really caught my attention because she was wearing these slutty pantyhose with a band around the thigh and very high short-shorts. I don't really like pantyhose but I love stockings and they looked like them in the outfit. So I was really turned on and it ended up I was walking behind them for a little bit while going to my destination, and so I was staring at this girl's legs the entire time. And I was embarrassed to be looking and ashamed of myself. I knew that she knew I was checking her out and wanted to have sex with her badly. I tried catching her eye a few times too so that made it even more obvious. Just so it's clear, I wasn't creeping on them when they could see me I didn't make a point of starting. But while I was out of view I kept looking over and over again for long moments.
Here is what I was thinking:
1. I should be embarrassed and ashamed of myself for looking at her thighs and being turned on by them.
2. She knows I like her legs and want to have sex with her. I should be ashamed of myself and embarrassed to be caught.
3. I am a disgusting perverted creep because I like her legs and want to have sex with her and her friend.
4. It's really stupid and weird to be turned on by her legs so much. I shouldn't have this reaction.
5. I am degrading her by looking at her body sexually and getting excited. I am turning her into a piece of meat and a social inferior. It's not okay and I should stop immediately.
6. If they were ever to say anything about how I clearly want to have sex with them the shame and anxiety would be too much to take.
7. They are probably laughing about me and how pathetic I am for wanting to have sex with them and not hiding it like a normal person would.
8. This girl would think all the sexual stuff that I want to do to her is stupid, creepy, weird, pathetic, and disgusting. But she wouldn't think that about a guy she actually liked.
9. I don't deserve to want sex with her because she doesn't want it with me. I don't deserve her either.