It bears mentioning that other subcultures aside from the bsdm community engage in age play without the "hurting" element, such as ABDL's and DL's (infantilism).

Not that there is anything wrong with S&M-- it is safe and between consenting partners. Sometimes acting on masochistic urges is a way to "master" abuse from the past.

The trick is, how open minded is your partner? Hope you find a way to navigate this.