The thing is I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I wonder if this would be mentally harmful to me or am I just over reacting?

Leaving everything else aside, I think you've answered your "need" for now in this sentence. When in doubt, don't until it's clearer...is what I try to live by. Sure, there are decisions that we HAVE to make and still in doubt, but there are some that can wait too...

good luck.

KD

KD