I try to make things as simple and easy for myself to understand as I can. Adding in and focusing on not being where I "should" be in no way helps me solve the problem of where I am and how to get out of it? I sort of put it to one side to argue with myself later, after I get out of where I actually am?

You called your T to ask for help and he's working with you to help you through this weekend, yes? That's all there is to the immediate problem. When you get through this weekend, you can then worry about how you would like to not need to call T to ask for help. It's two problems and sticking them together just makes things twice as complicated and confusing as it needs to be right at this moment.