I've just read your post...and what I'm sensing (I may be completely wrong) is that you feel as though nobody will want you unless you are prepared to sleep with them sooner than you really feel you want to or feel comfortable with....it is perfectly fine to date guys, get to know them or just be friends with guys or even have a relationship without feeling under any obligation to jump into bed with them...it could be a self esteem issue in that you don't feel as though you are valuable enough or good enough for someone to want you for you....people have sex because they WANT to....it's not something you have to do to make someone stay with you...if you feel as though you are being violated, used or doing something against your wishes that is because you ARE!!! and you don't have to...just focus on your self esteem and then on getting to know guys, if you naturally fall in love with someone and a relationship develops and you want to take things further sexually...you just will...don't put any pressure on yourself or let someone pressure you....only have a sexual relationship with someone because you want to...you are not wierd for not wanting to rush into sex with every guy you go on a few dates with....plenty of people wait!