Wow, geez, I can't imagine being intimate enough with someone to marry them. I too looked to others behavior as a child and copied and mimicked it, their emotions. I remember looking over to my sister at my grandma's funeral to see if I was supposed to cry. It freaks me out to think of how out of it I have been my whole life. I feel like I am completely empty.
My therapist specializes in trauma and it seems like she is really good at what she does. We've only just begun but I really like the way she works. I hope you find a good therapist to help you get to the next level.
What kind of therapy were you doing for those 4 years? How did it help you?
This might seem weird but I'm really curious what it feels like to change? How do you know when it's happening? What changes do you see first?
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Originally Posted by geez
I am sorry to hear of your experience. I too grew up with neglect and have problems with feeling/expressing emotions. I somehow managed to get married to a non abusive man and growing up I was able to 'fake it'. Growing up I copied or mimicked the behavior of others and read books about how to have a conversation with people to make friends. I always however felt like an 'outsider'. It does get better with time and hard work.. for me it has been almost 4 years and I'm now looking for a new therapist that specializes in trauma to go to the next level.
Wishing you lots of healing.  |