I dont really feel numb. I guess I do at times. I had a good day but still did it just to do it it feels like. I dont get it. Its like I have had urges so long now that since I gave in I am kinda relieved and just do it to do it. I look at the cuts on my legs and wanna do more. Its been so long. This is all just weird. Its like earlier I just thought to myself I ought to do it.