I posted the full story under 'chronic illnesses' but figured that here there may be more input and personal accounts.

So I don't rewrite the entire thing, I've had severe muscle spasms in my head and neck causing vertigo and severe disorientation since 2006. No doctor has really cared enough to figure out the issue and I've had to sell all my things to pay for medical expenses.

I am definitely disabled and seeking disability but my pain doctor, who has Rx'ed me morphine patches thinks I can work. My health is unreliable and I have not been able to hold down a job since 2006 so I do freelance web design and perform as a web cam girl.

I had dental work done and a month afterwards the dizziness started and then the pain. The muscles in spasm are:

• Sternocleidomastoid -starts under jaw and goes down neck to collarbone
• masseter -the 'chewing' muscle.
• Temporalis -on side of skull above ear
• Pterygoid medialus -inside the mouth near ear
• Pterygoid lateralus -same spot but closer to skin's surface
• Tensor veli palatini -this muscle is actually controlled by the P.M. and it's function is to open and close the Eustachian Tube located in the inner ear. If the E. tube isn't working properly it can cause vertigo.

I've even had medical botox injected into most of these muscles to try and paralyze them...nothing.

I can barely move my head and get dizzy in populated places. I've become a hermit because most people don't understand the disorder and I've received a lot of judgment because of it.

The issue has been associated with TMJ. At times my jaw will 'pop' or 'crack' when I open it but no doctor has been able to remedy this and it seems every doctor I go to just refers me to someone else. It's a medical mystery and I'm in constant pain missing out on living my life.

My only hope is finding a doctor that cares and will work with me. There are times where I've felt that ending my life would end the pain because it gets so severe and disorienting but I could never do that to my husband. I want to have a family and children and enjoy my life and it's that thought, alone, that keeps me going.

I've tried about everything under the sun. The best relief was valium back when I didn't have a tolerance and physical therapy.

Can you just kill a muscle? I thought botox would weaken it but I got nothing from it the last time. I am desperate.