I came out of a severe depression in February with the help of a thyroid medication. I have had a run of good stability, for the longest time since I was diagnosed, and have started to process everything with my T.

I was taken off my antipsychotic med during my episode because it didn't agree with me. (I have tried several and they all have the same result, helping with symptoms, but giving me so many side effects that I have to go off.)

Now I am noticing some of my symptoms are coming back. They are obsessive thoughts about hurting myself and having car crashes, wishing I was in the back of an ambulance when I see one drive by, pretending that my favorite mental health counselor from the hospital is doing a bed check. I see my pdoc on Tuesday and I am afraid that she will put me back on an antipsychotic if I tell her what is going on. Physically, I feel great without the antipsychotic. I don't want to go back to feeling terrible all the time because of side effects, and I don't want to go to the hospital because of thoughts and images getting too strong for me to handle.

It is so frustrating. Any thoughts?