I've been having a hard time with my diagnosis. I'm angry a lot for it. It's funny, because I've lived my entire life with a myriad of health problems, straight from birth. I've never known healthy, and I've always just taken it in stride. This however, has been different. I kind of wish I'd never heard of the "kindling theory", because I blame my mother for this (she was physically and continues to be emotionally abusive), and have so much anger directed at her. I feel like she got off scot-free, and now I'm stuck with this illness that will be with me for the rest of my life, and which has already had devastating consequences for me (my manias have put me into debt to the point where I can't even afford to buy my own food; I'm relying on the food bank because I'm putting every spare cent I have into paying off what I owe).