This is totally jerking you around. It sounds unethical. I don't like when DBT is the boss of things, and that's what appears to be happening here, decisions are being made arbitrarily rather than being agreed upon together. How dare he think he could make a decision like that for you?

ETA: okay I just read the rest of your post. I knew I had to do something when I was sitting in my car and watched my first husband walk behind it, and thought to myself, I could just back right over him... it just means you need to take action to change something in your life that is not working. Like pushing this T out of your life? idk what but you do.