If you aren't scared of your T, then I don't know where the fear is coming from. Maybe you're scared of yourself then?

How are you about hugging other women, like family and friends? Is it only with your T that you're unable to sit close or touch? I am okay about hugging other women, but I am not like all over them with affection! I wasn't raised in a huggy family, so that does not come natural for me. Yes, it is really only with my therapist that I feel this way. I don't understand it at all. I would welcome her to sit by me or for us to talk a nice walk outside, but I can't do it. It feels all wrong to me.

I may be wrong but I think if you do it once, you'll get past that initial fear, and gradually it will feel okay to you. I don't think she will allow this.

Another thought. I used to think my Ts were very different from me. Like teachers, and you're a teacher so you'll understand this. You know. They don't go to the bathroom and they live in the closet! It wouldn't have seemed right to be close to any of my teachers. Only my current T has become "just another person" to me, though she's still my T, of course.

Sorry if I am rambling too much. Your post made me think about how far I've come regarding touch with people, in therapy and in RL.