I think what makes a good connection is going to vary from person to person, because we all need something different from our therapists.

For me - having a good connection with my T means that I can trust her and that I feel like she's not judging me. A connection is when the T can read me even when I'm not able to say anything. When she knows what I'm trying to say even when I can't find the right words. When she knows when to prompt me and when to just let me be and when to extend an offer of help even if I can't ask for it. My T understands how important small successes are to me, and cheers me on. She remembers things that are important to me. She listens to me and makes me feel like we're partners in my treatment, rather than her dictating things and me just accepting them. To me...that's a good connection.