You are not alone. I am a rapid cycler myself. Use this forum to your advantage. I haven't been here long but pretty much everyone here is very understanding because...well...they understand they ******** that mental illness brings.

And something else to put things into perspective for you. This is just a very small portion of those online with bipolar disorder. There's a whole lot more than are posting. Anyway, just know that you are not alone and this place can be very therapeutic.