Well for me. I tell them what's going on and I ask questions for feedback like:
- what do you think of this situation?
- how do i get out of this situation?
- what should i do?
and so on. i actively engage / force them to engage with me. i guess XD

but when sometimes im too numb, he really goes for it. i mean, he doesn't just sit there for me.

my t is really great in showing me examples, explanations. so my advice is to always ask questions, squeeze what you want out of therapy but know some days it works, some days it doesnt