I think its a sorta inside job thingy. You can fake it that's for sure. But until I got it, I never new I wasn't getting it. But what is it? Its that being genuinely cared about. That come about after time. For me before this T I tried to get "it" immediately and because I grew up using fantasy to make up for what I wasn't getting, I continued to use fantasy. But fantays is a poor substitue for the real thing and the other person must be fully emotionally available. At first I thought T was a bit to "liberal, wishy washy" coz I'd never had an emotionally available person in my life growing up.