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You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of shezbut. Your Mom was wrong. She should have explained / shown you what to do. Nobody is born knowing these things, and no one should be expected to figure it out for themselves. You weren't treated right.
You should be proud of yourself for managing ok.
splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.
"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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