Thanks everyone.
Chopin, that's interesting about needing to not be too attached. I think, like you with your current t, I've always "made it [my relationships with my t's] more than it was". I haven't tried to fight it too much-- that leads to me quitting. Well, I haven't fought the amount of time I spend thinking and writing about it. When I'm actually there, I do perpetually complain therapy isn't working
. Ugh. It's so confusing to know whether to fight these urges to think about therapy (and be self obsessed). But I think it's different for most people here because most people on PC have more past trauma to deal with than I do, so I don't want to lead anyone in that boat to think they're too self obsessed.
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Originally Posted by ColourBars
A good connection? Hmmm... when you see your T not as a person who is trained at understanding your weaknesses/insecurities but someone who wants to help you out genuinely.
I guess?
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Yeah ColorBars, I guess (?). I manage to do that some... to believe he just genuinely wants to help because that's what therapists would want to do. But when I totally think of him that way, as someone who just wants to help me as an equal in figuring out what I could do to get rid of my depression, then it seems like there's not much he could do. Then I wonder if I should just quit and deal with the depression on my own. So I get stuck going in circles like that. I guess I can think of him as an equal in my head sometimes but I can't feel that way as much when I'm actually talking to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmamma
I think its a sorta inside job thingy. You can fake it that's for sure. But until I got it, I never new I wasn't getting it. But what is it? Its that being genuinely cared about. That come about after time. For me before this T I tried to get "it" immediately and because I grew up using fantasy to make up for what I wasn't getting, I continued to use fantasy. But fantays is a poor substitue for the real thing and the other person must be fully emotionally available. At first I thought T was a bit to "liberal, wishy washy" coz I'd never had an emotionally available person in my life growing up.
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earthmamma, if you want to explain what you mean about using fantasy to get "it", I'm interested. Can you explain what the fantasy is? I tend to be "in my head" a lot, so I'm wondering if it's what I'm doing, but I don't quite understand you.