I don't see my therapist as any role other than my therapist. I also see other doctors for various reasons. My psychiatrist really doesn't have any reason touch me, but when she opens the door to me, we may brush against one another and that is okay. She may lay her hand on my arm while I am talking to her. When I see my regular MD she touches me. Not a hug or hold my hand, but there is a little bit of touch.

But if my therapist touched me in any way, it would freak me out. Why? because the whole boundary thing has been blown totally out of proportion. I don't expect to hold hands with her or for us to exchange a hug, but to touch in casual passing shouldn't be a big deal. But it is for me. I think my fear goes beyond just something as simple as not wanting to be physically close to her. I struggle with relationships and getting close to people. This may be a part of that whole ordeal. Who knows?

She has become the untouchable figure to me. It almost angers me and I want to act out that game where you touch someone and say, "You're it!" then they chase after you to touch you back and say "Got you back!" Childish play, but that's how it feels in therapy sometimes. No one but someone who has been in therapy would understand this crazy kind of irrational thinking.

I did email her about it. I am curious to see her response.