Girlio, i just reread your post. Stay separated. Your husband is and will always be an abuser. He punched you, raped you, cheated on you , and now he is playing mind games. PC rules dont allow me to use the language i' d like to use to describe your husband. I'm sure he is broken and emotionally damaged, but it's not your job to fix him. You can' t . In fact, by staying with him, you are just allowing him to indulge in his abusive ways. It's actually doing him a kindness to leave as you are no longer enabling his bad behavior.