I think all- or at least most- people have trouble starting to trust their t. I know it took me a while to trust mine with some of my most shameful stuff. I thought a lot about it though, and I couldn't figure out why I didn't trust her.

I trusted her to keep my stuff confidential- that's just a basic legal expectation and if she couldn't do that I assume she'd have lost her license a long time ago. I trusted her not to mock me partly because she is a sweetheart and partly because no one mocks me, ever (I guess I give out a pretty strong "don't you dare mock me" vibe). I didn't really care if she judged me- I kind of assume that everyone judges everyone all the time and I could care less what someone else thinks about me in their private time. I didn't have abandonment issues- in fact after we'd seen eachother about a year, she shut down her practice to have a baby. We ended up together again a year later, but at the time it was supposedly permanent and I didn't really have a problem with that.

So, why didn't I trust her? I don't really trust anyone, relationship-wise so maybe it was just habit. I finally made a concsious decision that I would trust her to do her job as a trained professional, just like I trust a cop to come to my house if I'm being robbed or a firefighter if I have a fire or a plumber if my toilet is backed up. Today I have a warm, strong relationship with her, but I still only see her as a reliable professional who is helping me clean out the septic tank that is my past. I've never asked (or cared) what she thinks of me. I bet she likes it that she can trust me to be on time with my payments.