I haven't figured out which one she is to me. It would resemble more of a confidant than anything. It is very friendly and she is quite open about herself (when it is appropriate to what we are discussing). I don't see her as family, though.

It is truly a mystery that's for sure! I have always said that the therapeutic relationship is the strangest relationship you can ever be in. This is why I want to get out before I get burned too bad! That is one of my greatest fears........

If she actually sat close to me and showed that kind of affection, I would fall apart. I did not grow up in a 'huggy' family, yet I have always wished I had. My family was great and very supportive to me. We did a lot of family stuff together. We were just not the "I love you", huggy kind of family. If she hugged me, I would feel something that I have longed for. Something I wish I had in my life. I don't have that.

I think if I just had a friend that I trusted to hug me, that would suffice. Since I am in therapy, I wish that I could allow her to do some 'holding therapy' with me. Just hug me and say nothing. Or just sit by me and hold my hand with ut either of us speaking. I know that sounds really weird, but that's what my feelings are at the moment. Obviously something is coming up for me or I wouldn't be talking like this.

I would never be able to ask her to do any of this. She wouldn't anyway, so what's the point. It would be too embarrassing to talk about knowing that she would say, "No, we can't do that." She would go on to ask who was I really wanting that love and affection from? Then I would start crying and the session would be a total disaster.

What's so terrible about hugging your client after two years!! Why would that be such a damnable thing?