((Kacey)),
I can't imagine how painful that must have be and still must be. Your therapist just retraumatized you and massively set you back as far as trust and abandonment fear go, in my opinion. Again, in my opinion, what your therapist did was inexcusable. He made the choice for you, he didn't even try to negotiate boundaries with you. It's no wonder that you don't want to speak to any of your other Dr.s, why would you risk the chance of them doing what he did? I'm infuriated beyond belief but I know that you will somehow find your way through this. I hope that you are able to find another therapist to try to teach you how to trust again.

I don't think it's a bad idea to see your old T again. You should see him and tell him that he promised not to do this to you, and that although you would love to use your 'wise mind', that it's difficult if not impossible when you are fraught with overwhelming emotion and when you are dealing with abandonment pain (or agony). Tell him that he needs to use his 'wise mind' to figure out that triggering your abandonment fear and then reducing your number of sessions with him is reinforcing your fear/emotional overwhelm response. These issues take TIME and patience on part of both parties. Please keep us updated! I wish you peace