We also rehashed an old idea, but maybe we got just a little bit further that before. I hope so.

When I first met T and she was operating in rigid blank slate mode, I guessed first that she was a lesbian, and then that she was living with two men at once. What's that about?

The answer is that I didn't want to think of her as ordinary. (There's the pedestal again.) And in fact, her living arrangements were very conventional. She was living with her husband and two daughters.

(I apologise anyone who insists that being lesbian is ordinary.)

Anyway, she said that I insisted on being special and refused to be ordinary. Old news. When I challenged her, she admitted that she felt sorry for me because being special is very lonely.

This annoys me because it never seems to go anywhere. The only new feature is that I didn't want her to be ordinary either.

(She also said she thought I value quantity over quality, which seems to contradict everything else on this page.)

Is my T ordinary?
Can I be ordinary?
Would I be happier if I was?

What T and I have in each other is very special. Why would I want to replace that special relationship with something ordinary?