That was the day that I knew I would go back. T had thought the best of me, so I would think the best of her. It was a deliberate decision. It didn't make it easy- I was wary for many months. We didn't talk about what had happened. I didn't really know the score. We just went forward- but it made it possible. We only really addressed what had happened on her daughter's birthday six months later, when I realised that I couldn't bear the thought of T giving her daughter a happy birthday when what she had given me was pain pain pain. I had to ask T what on earth had happened. She said that she had been following her instincts in terms of treating me, then particular events had made her anxious, and as a result she had tried to revert to more rigidly theoretically adherent practice. She had soon realised this was a mistake and had tried hard to repair it.