that's true.
you can stop and ask yourself (me asking myself, here) why am I feeling adversarial here, why am I getting into my defensive fighter's stance, and what I am really fighting here? the other person presumably pushing me, am I reacting to them doing that or just perceiving them as doing that ....... or am I really pulling away so something in me doesn't get pressed/pushed/exposed/criticized/condemned/controlled or even, god forbid, changed?
I get adversarial too.....but no one really MAKES me be that way; no one chooses for me to be that way except for me. It's one of my coping mechanisms, one of my old survival tools ...... only I need to learn that many times it comes out, the situation isn't really a battle situation that calls for that tool to be used or that stance to be taken.....