last friday my T had to cancel our appt cause of family emergency. we rescheduled for today. which, no big deal...it happens. i was fine on my own. but at the same time I could hear the "stress" in her voice. it threw me off. she is always so calm and together and happy. i always feel welcomed and like she's happy to see me. i know her life is not perfect and that she has normal everyday situations just like the rest of us do BUT it gave me a weird feeling because im not used to that from her. not used to vaguely getting a glimpse of her stress. she's always been there for ME and been my rock and ive never thought about her "stuff"....its strange. i dont know why im so thrown off by it. im uneasy about going to session today as now i know she her own things going on and how can i just sit there and ramble on about all this garbage that is my life. i feel guilty. my instinct is to go in and be like "are YOU ok?". and on the flip side i dont want to go cause i dont want to see or think of her as anything but "calm and steady T who is able to be what I need".......basically what my mom never could be.
ahhhhhh crap!