Trigger for talk of SA and Sui thoughts..





Thanks for all of the pocket riders!! I am kind of proud of myself, I talked about everything that I knew I needed to talk about. Both things that I have never told anybody ever (well besides my husband).

T acutally brought up abuse.. He asked me flat out. So, I finally let it out. I have never talked to anybody besides my husband about it. We just kind of grazed the surface, but he said that he understands a lot more about me and my resistance to somethings in therapy now. He acutally had thought that there was some abuse, before I brought it up. So, now I have hard work head of myself in therapy. It is kind of scary... T did say that he would push me a little bit, and ask me to talk about it, but not push me too much either. So, I need to decide how much I am ready to talk about it all.

Also, I did admit to him that I was having some sui thoughts.. it is a new thing and wasn't sure how much I should take seriously.. We contracted that I would I stay safe until next week at our next appointment. Really, he said that there wasn't much choice.. I need to promise him that I wouldn't hurt myself or I would have to go to the hospital. And he believes he can trust my word. And that I can call him if I was having those thoughts, and we can talk through it and that wouldn't gurantee me a hospital stay.

I do feel lighter.. I shared a lot and it feels good to have it out in the open. I am just hoping this week is a better week for me!!