I am working on crying in a good way.

I still have an idea that goes thru my brain: "Oh, you're just trying to get attention." even in private!

Also, in my life, crying often meant that I was going to be locked up. (was in a mental health system most of my life until around 2009)

I get scared that my roommate might get upset.

I just plain don't like being vulnerable.

So I really appreciate this thread to remind me that crying is sometimes okay.

It is hard for me to know what's appropriate, esp. when I've been told crying was "inappropriate" even in a therapy setting.

When my aunt died, I did not cry. But I was very upset and no one in treatment ever really encouraged me to express how it felt. They did not seem to have the room or the patience or the time to let me.

In a grief group (in the mental health system) they even told me to smile and act happy and as though I were managing my grief properly and "not allowing it to get to me"!

As a result, I left them.

I think finding a safe place or a safe person to cry can help us cry and process our feelings without being shamed or guilt-baited, or being locked up.

thanks,

Billi