Hi All,

I'm new here and from what I've seen, while surfing around this place, I'm going to feel right at home here. I don't know if I'm posting in the right forum but here goes.

I have an almost 15 year old son(in April). I divorced his father when he was two. I then married my current husband when my son was 3 1/2. I had his only sibbling(a brother) when my son was almost 4. My oldest went to live with his father when he was 5 years old. I couldn't seem to change his mind about wanting to live with his father through counceling. So, after much soul searching, I let him go. My ex and I just switched rolls. So, I then had him every other weekend.

In the last two years he has been getting into so much trouble. Begining of last year, in 8th grade, he was suspended and then expelled for fighting. He then started running away from his fathers house last summer never letting us know where he was durring the time he was gone. SIGH Talk about PANIC!! The third time he ran away, last summer, he took his ATV with him. It was in his fathers name so his father reported it stolen. When the police finally found him, he was arrested and put in juvi jail. At first they put him on informal probation with community service and drug counceling because he had smoked pot while he was on the run. As long as he didn't screw up again and didn't do anything else like run away again he would have been fine. He wouldn't have had a criminal record. Well...............he ran again this last Dec. When the police finally picked him up he was put back in jail and was put on formal probation, which means he now has a criminal record for theft from the original charge. SIGH (This story wears me out just telling it all ha ha) Well, when they let him out he came to live with his step dad, brother and I. He has had problems with his father, but then he has had problems with everyone of us. He lived with us for about two months, until his step dad couldn't take anymore because of his stealing and threatening violence on his brother that is half his size. He is now back with his father but things are not any better with him. Last week his fathers mom passed away. What you have to understand is that my son was SO VERY CLOSE to his grandmother for so many years. In the last couple of years they haven't been as close but that bond was still there. Her funeral was this last sat. and I had him over fri. night so that I could take him with me to the funeral. I got up sat. morning and he had jumped out the window sometime in the night and was GONE!! I, of course, PANICED!! We haven't had the best relationship but I do know how close he was to his grandmother and I really felt for him. I felt that he was running away from the truth of her death. Well, needless to say, I went to the funeral alone. It was so very hard, alot of tears that I couldn't stop because of EVERYTHING. You see, her and I had alot of hard times because she tried so hard to take my son from me by telling him that I didn't love him and alot of other lies. But, I know that the only reason why she sis that, when you get right down to it, was because she loved him dearly. I've loved her and I forgive her because we both only loved him more than anything.(so glad I made my piece with her before she left us) I found my son later that day at a drug house near by. Walked right in and sat down with all the kids. Sweet talked him out of there saying that I wouldn't turn him in if he would only come home with me. He finally did but turned right around and got suspended from school on mon. morning for smoking on campus. SIGH His father and I had had it so we took his butt down to his probation officer and she locked him up again. He is now out and back with his father at night and with me durring the day most days after school.

Sorry this is so long but I needed to tell my story to have you all know what's going on. I really don't know what to do. I know we have a hard time communicating but he's hit a point that he really doesn't care anymore. I'm so afraid that we're going to loose this child. That one morning we'll wake up and he'll be gone for good. If anyone has and words of wisdom or ideas on communicating with my son that will work, I sure would be thankful.

Thanks in advance.
Love,
Wendy