I think at the moment I'm in the stage of fantasizing about suicide, even though at the same time I'm fighting off the urges to actually do so...so I totally understand where you're coming from.

The issue is that fantasizing can lead to ideation and eventually stronger urges and thoughts about committing suicide. Personally I believe you should try to avoid fantasizing about it, but if YOU think it helps you, who knows, maybe it could be beneficial. I don't think any of us can really give you a clear-cut yes or no answer to your question...only yourself and your pdoc can really advise you on that for definite.

Do you dream about suicide or dying at all? When I fantasize I tend to do that. Have you ever heard the song "Mad World"? It's rather relative to suicide (or at least Gary Jules' version is), and one of the lyrics that stands out to me the most out of any song is: "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had).

Ask yourself if you're still actually contemplating suicide. If the answer is a no, then maybe it just is fantasizing. But I do recommend you take caution...and if you ever need some support or you need to talk, PsychCentral is here for you.

RB ♥