I'm so, so sorry Kacey! It really bugs me that he asked asked if you really didn't trust him after four years. He completely violated your trust by making such important decisions about your relationship, so abruptly, without consulting you or without having the DBT specialist talk to you. Though not the same, if you're married to someone for 40 years and the person cheats on you, you still lose your trust in him/her.

You don't need him for a referral (and it's pretty ******, rather unethical, of him to say that he'll only give you names if you have an appt with him). Go to the psychology today therapist locator website; this is how I found my wonderful T. I know that it doesn't seem like it now, but there is a great T out there for you! You will get through this!