Cbt work part 1. continued...
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Firstly, it perpetuates the idea that women should primarily be judged on their looks and sexual attractiveness. This cultural norm causes many women to have an unhealthy preoccupation with their appearance, to engage in objectifying themselves, and thus limit the range of options they have in life...Women had 90% of all cosmetic procedures in 2010, the same percentage as in 2009 and 89% of eating disorder sufferers are women. It is women who swell the ranks of dieters and have any number of beauty regimes to get through in a week.
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1. Women's self worth should not depend on being attractive to men.
2. Women are only valued for their sex appeal.
3. Women should be valued for more than just sex.
4. I only value women for sex.
5. I am limiting the options women can choose in life by judging their worth based on how attractive they are.
6. I am causing women to suffer eating disorders and low self esteem by judging their worth based on how sexy they are.
7. I treat women like they are only good for sex and I impose restricting gender rules that prevent them from living the fulfilling lives they want to.
8. Women should not be used as decorations to be looked at.
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In a quick experiment I decided to view music videos for the current top 10 singles in the UK charts and found that at least six out 10 feature women in bras, suspenders or knickers and in the most wonderfully original ones, a splendid combination of all three. The even edgier ones have women dancing happily and seductively on top of tables, gyrating their crotches or their enviable bottoms towards the camera. The others couldn't be clearly labelled but what is conspicuous by its absence in them all, is men in their pants, thrusting their crouches towards the camera.
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1. Women shouldn't try to excite men sexually.
2. Men are forcing women to be artificially sexual in a way which is designed to degrade them.
3. Looking at a woman's body parts reduces her to an object.
4. Women would never enjoy being naked and sexy for men unless they were brainwashed.
5. If women are sexual in a way men aren't then it means the women are being degraded.
6. Men do not have a right to critique a woman's body.
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Finally, in a strip club, women have to perform for men within the confines of what is acceptable behaviour for a stripper. Thus punters, who are men, have the power over women, who are primarily there to satisfy the sexual desires of punters. The men decide who they want to see dance and who they want a lap dance from - and ultimately the dancers have to please their customers.
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1. Women are being oppressed because they have to conform to male imposed ideas about what it means to be sexy and feminine.
2. Men are forcing women to be sexual in a way which isn't natural to them, which restricts their sexuality, and which serves men instead of women.
3. Men have sexual power over women and they do not deserve it.
4. Women should never have to please men sexually.
5. It is stupid, pathetic, and rude to want to have sex with a girl that didn't give me permission to think sexual thoughts about her.
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I immersed myself in writings by sex worker feminists, clinging on to anything that would make me feel radical, as opposed to treacherous, for working in the sex industry. By showing my vagina I was challenging the patriarchal taboo against female nudity. By deploying femininity as a tool I was exposing it as a construction. By making men pay to see me naked I was making the economic power dynamics underlying normative heterosexual behavior explicit.
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1. I am restricting women's sexuality and making them ashamed of their bodies.
2. When women please men sexually for money they are being exploited.
3. I am stupid and pathetic for being turned on by women's body parts.
4. Beauty standards are made up by men to exploit women.
5. Thinking sexual thoughts about women without their permission is wrong and offensive.
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The difference between stripping and other professions is that the dancers know they’re being exploited, and the man in the cubicle deludes himself into thinking he’s not.
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1. Paying for a girl to turn me on exploits her.
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Yet a stereotype persists in the media: stripping is an industry of underage, drugged up, sexually abused girls working in a brothel with semen covered walls and in desperate need of rescuing. Society assumes these are “fallen” women who have no other options or are not capable/smart enough to get a real job
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1. Women would never show off their bodies to excite men unless they were sexually abused, on drugs, or exploited by a male pimp.
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Additional thoughts.
1. Spread open vaginas are disgusting and only a pervert would be turned on by them.
2. I am a creepy pervert for starting at women's bodies.
3. I am imposing my sexual desires and fantasies on exploited women who are brainwashed into thinking they have to fulfill them in order to be worthy.
4. It is wrong to for women to be called degrading names and for men to have sexual power over them.
5. It is wrong when women booty dance to degrading music that calls them "b*tches" and "hos"