I used to feel that way all the time too until one of my counselors explained the situation in two parts. The first in the biological sense - the skin is constantly making new skin by shedding the top layer and underneath is the new untouched skin.

The skin that was on me when I was abused so many years ago was physically gone off my body that same day through nornal shedding of changing clothes, activities and bathing because a person a layer of skin every 24 hours.

what is left now it the second part of this - the emotional of knowing that I was molested and raped and in our society that act is frowned on considered illegal and sex is dirty. She said to look at what sex jokes are labled not sex jokes they are labeled "dirty jokes"

Then she asked me if I wanted to continue beliving that sex is dirty and so I am dirty because someone else forced me into having sex. If someone forced me to eat turnip would I turn that into my feeling dirty and at fault? I told her no that just a vegtable. She said but vegetables are grown in the garden they start out literally dirty same thing society tell us sex is dirty, gardeners tell us that vegetables are dirty.

I told her that was different I wash my veggies before using them and she said - and how many baths have you taken since being molested and raped. If the turnip is clean after washing then you are clean after washing. Its all in the thinking process.

She had me there Physically I was like the turnip I was clean the being dirty now years after the attacks was all in my thinking process. And my thinking process can be cleaned just like my physical body can be cleaned. That day I decided every time I felt like I was dirty I would remind myself that physically the skin that had been abused was gone and this was a matter of thinking process I could sit there and make myself misrable by doing nothing but continue to think about how dirty I was or I can do something that will change my thinking process. I bought lotions, bubble baths, bath oils, then took a bath so that physically I would feel refreshed and for the emotional I used the scented lotions that I liked the smell of.

I still have times when emotionally I feel dirty but just reminding myself of what JEH told me still helps.