Kacey, i think he wants to meet with you to repair the rupture. Even if you cant repair it enough to keep seeing him, maybe you can get some closure. Just because he is the T and your the client, doesnt mean he was right. Especially when he didnt honor his agreement to answer your emails. He let you down in a big way. But here is the thing, Kacey, people are human. Even people we love and who love us deeply can screw up big time and let us down sometimes. People are fallible. I was arrested in jail, having flashbacks, terrorified out of my mind and my boyfriend called me and told me if i sent him anything for Valentine' s Day to cancel it because he was too stressed out about his work abd didnt want it arriving there. He wasnt supportive. He was just mad because my dog was being naughty and i couldnt pick her up because i was in jail but he' d already agreed to watch her for the night.

I decided to break up with him that next morning. The hurt was so deep. He abandoned me when i needed him the very most, not only that but he was mean to me. He thought everything would be fine when i returned and saw my face then knew it wasnt. I wasnt mad but soo hurt. I told him how i went through hell and he made it worse, and he was the last person i expected to do that. He made it up to me. It was my decision whether to go back or not, just like it will be yours with your T.

It's up to you. Keep an open mind and open heart. Follow your heart.
I may be reading the situation wrong, but i think he loves you and wants the opportunity to fix this if you will let him, but you dont have to do anything you dont want to do. If you REALLY want a different T, you can use his words against him
Say if he did you a disservice by getting you too attached, a new T is just what the DR ordered.

Oh yeah, pushing guy off cliff thought. I've had those once in blue moon but i thought it was inherited from my mom because she is homicidal. But i have them just like everyone else says, it's like a random thought like omg this could happen and then instantly i'm horrified it popped in my head and freaked out. I guess everyone has those.
Mine are usually violent stuff and if you knew me you would laugh. I am soo not violent.