BPD really is a vicious cycle and it's pure H*** sometimes.(forgive me if the words are jammed together; I have my browser set on "high" against cookies because they have been *messing* with my computer and I have to be extremely careful with allowing cookies!)My BPD has been acting lately like a wild animal that I have to constantly hold rein on. I have been reacting so angrily and defensively lately to life issues and even when I have to be physically close to other people or deal with their nuances.And I have been so insecure. I've had to remind myself constantly that the world does not revolve around me.I have had to tell myself that people cannot always be how I want them to be.Oh, man.And I have been ever-struggling with getting my most basic needs met in the best agreeable way I can do it in.And worst of all, I hate it when I feel like someone just might find out what and who I am i.e. someone with a mental illness or worse BPD!!!!I really especially empathize with the ones on here who struggle to maintain relationships.It is so hard, I know.Billi