I had really sudden mood swings. One moment I'm on top of the world, can fly to the damn moon if I wanted to then the next moment I feel like complete utter trash. I feel sadness for no reason at all, and when I'm in one of my moods my self image is totally trashed, self esteem nada. People say its hard to follow my train of thought and I've had a record of two suicide attempts. I still have frequent suicidal thoughts.
I have two good friends; both are rarely online. My family, well, they have tried being supportive but now they're just...The idiots are judgmental to the extreme and are selfish down to the core.
It's also pretty hard to think; Im constantly fatigued and have difficulties sleeping. Also, in my mind it's like walking through a fog. It's hard to focus and concentrate. I'm lucky if I can study two subjects a day.
The thing that scares me is that when I'm angry, I've been known to lash out with my tongue. Verbal abuse, just like my mother. But sometimes I lose it and I get extremely violent.
My family is not rich. We don't have money for any therapy.
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