In the very beginning I too felt detached. Think of it like layers of an onion.

The first layer for me equaled = talking about it without any real emotions about it. It kind of felt like a shock to me that I was even saying the words and no emotions were really attached other than shame.

Many layers later = My feelings are staring me in the face and I think WTF???? I survived that? Kind of like how I would feel if my best friend told me she had these experiences. Then for me I'm now dealing with past and present Anger, sadness etc... and it feels like it happened yesterday. It feels very real now where before it felt very distant.

Be patient with yourself mrmanatee. When the feelings are closer to the surface there was a good book I read called 'growing yourself back up'. It's an easy read and very eye opening.