I was confused by what you meant by "program or study," I was thinking more in terms of school? But no, I have not gone to NA meetings, I believe I have mentioned this before? Maybe that was in a separate thread, I'm not sure. However, I am in therapy and am working with my therapist on my issues, trying to get my head sorted out, making a plan with her. I've looked into NA meetings in my area, and I've read the 12 steps, but I don't think those will work for me. I don't believe in a higher power, and I don't wish to acknowledge that portion of the 12 step program, which is a MAJOR portion of the 12 steps. Also bringing up my past mistakes and making amends is something I do on my own, I ruminate often and I try to learn from what I've done, make less mistakes in the future. I have support from most of my friends, and the ones that are not supportive are not in my life currently.

I did not say nothing works anymore, I said my strategies are becoming less effective. They still work, to an extent. But again, these are strategies I used when I sobered up in the past, and that was before I was using heroin. I'm going to keep using these strategies and looking for other ways to keep my body clean, but all I was saying is that it's harder this time around. I was not expecting it to be easier, but I feel by coming here that I can talk frankly about what I'm going through right now. I'm not making excuses for myself here, I'm just trying to give you more of a back story.