Hi gang!

Since my therapist was so vague about this, I asked a friend who was in the Good Group with me.

My friend says I was the "leader" in that group, which I guess is pretty accurate. But everyone accepted me as leader, so that was fine. I wanted to be special and they let me be special.

Now it seems to me that I tried to lead in the Bad Group too, and they were not OK with that. So for several sessions I worked on listening and being ordinary. The group liked that but I got very frustrated. I felt I wasn't connecting. And they didn't want to hear that, so I gave up on them.

So.

I do have a need to be special. But it is up to others if they are prepared to let me be special. Some will, others won't. But trying to be ordinary to win them over is not a success.

I'm not prepared to be ordinary if it means being ignored.