Fear of abandonment can predispose one to becoming infatuated with and dependent on another person. You sound needy, and your acknowledgement that you may in fact be infatuated with your therapist is not the right reason to sustain psychotherapy.

If you feel that you cannot live without therapy it may simply be due to having become dependent upon it, your crutch in life as it were. And if you feel that you have created a bond with your T, and that it would be disastrous for you if it were ever to be broken, then that may in fact happen, as subconscioulsy, that is what you want to happen.

Say to to yourself "I am a strong and independent person, and I rely on no-one and nothing for my own personal well-being and survival". If you use that as your own personal daily mantra, then perhaps you can some day learn to believe in yourself, and develop the confidence and courage to walk freely and alone, and without anyone to lean on.