I wanted to thank all of you who keep encouraging me to talk to my therapist about the crappy stuff in my childhood. I know intellectually that the shame and disgust are not MINE, but it sure feels like I am the one who is shameful and disgusting. I did talk to my T today about both the current stuff and the ancient stuff. I told him one of the things that I am horrified by about myself, and he did not seem horrified. However, I did not give him a chance to really comment on it; I just kept talking. He did reassure me at the end that he does not think I'm disgusting. Said it several times in fact. So.

I do feel somewhat relieved, though still pretty anxious about having "told." I feel lighter somehow, like I can breath a little easier.

Thanks again for all of the support. For those of you struggling to tell, your therapist CAN help with both telling and the aftermath.