Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
Just like Maslow's hierarchy of needs; the bottom level, the base of the therapeutic relationship is safety and security. Your T blasted both out of the water following your vacation (of all times). I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until you posted about your phone conversation. I don't think I'd go to anyone he referred me to. I assume when T's make referrals, they recommend professional/personal friends.
I'm sorry, Kacey.  |
Ditto to what Chopin posted! Your therapist is controlling your therapy and doing so under the guise of helping you become independent. Unfortunately, he doesn't "get it" (in my opinion). Like Chopin said, I wouldn't take a referral from him as he will probably send you to a like-minded therapist. I don't know if you like to read psychology books, but these books really have helped me SO much!
Awakening the Dreamer by Philip Bromberg
and his new book
The Shadow of the Tsunami by Philip Bromberg
These books describe develpmental trauma and dissociation and how attachment associated trauma/dissociation lead to affective dysregulation.
"The affect evoked by trauma is not merely unpleasant but is is a disorganizing hyperarousal that threatens to overwhelm the mind's ability to think, reflect, and process experience cognitively." I think this is what I'm experiencing when I am retraumatized. It's not something that one can be 'wise' about when they haven't learned to trust.
This author "gets it". If you see your therapist again, I would challenge him to read these books with an open mind. I feel for you and want you to know that there are therapists out there who understand, who set boundaries flexibly as opposed to rigidly -- I know because I have one. I'm not saying that it is easy because it is still painful, but the difference is that I have learned to trust my therapist (after 7 years). You are not alone! Take care, I'll keep reading your posts to see how you are doing.