not having the time for a longer reply, I will say though that I feel disappointed/dismayed by what I read of your T and his continued handling of this. I feel skeptical about some of those conditions......I'll need to think it over more later.
I'm sorry the load feels so heavy right now and I second what MUE said about the intensity of these emotions passing...they will pass! allow yourself to feel them, but do what you need to do to take care of yourself and to keep from being overwhelmed by them.