No reason you have put in your mind can be an excuse for not going impatient in your current state. Do not try to justify putting your life in danger. You are not thinking straight. You must be honest with your T so he can help you get the help you need before you hurt yourself. If you don't want to tell him, then go to the ER for help.

I say all this as someone who has been where you are many times. This is exactly the moment when you need professional help the most, and the safety impatient admission supplies is vital.